Ol Pam Poovey epilogue
by snake screamer
Summary: set in season 7.


Everyone was enjoying a good drink at the tiki bar... well almost everyone...

"I can't believe i'm hanging out at this pit-stain of a pub." Mallory grumbled

"Pit-stain? they let you keep your own tiki styled mug." Krieger said "That to me, is slightly fancy."

"Plus how many days can we say we got some MONEY!" Ray sang the last bit in a happy tone.

"From a stupid farming PSA you idiots made instead of the detective agency were suppose to be running!" Mallory snapped

"Oh you can complain about anything." Ray said with a roll to his eyes "Just be happy that we have money to last us for two years. Two years and a half if were as stingy as you."

"Plus this is the launch of my acting career!" Pam said happily. "Granted its voice acting, but we all gotta start somewhere!"

"Yeah even I had to admit, this has been a pretty successful plan so far from Archer." Lana said "And from what i seen it been a win win for our group."

A door slammed open with a yell of "WHOSE STUPID IDEA WAS IT!?"

"Well a solid ninety percent win win for our group." Lana said as Cyril stormed in looking pissed with a dishevel suit covered in food stain.

"Geeze Cyril, what happen to your suit." Archer said

"That cause I was mobbed by a bunch of angry people who called me Monsanto lapdog!" Cyril stated annoyed "And i wonder what the heck that was about, till i found ol pam poovey online."

"Oh right, i forgot we did use you as the evil corporate side of farming." Lana muttered

"HOW THE DEVIL DID YOU USE MY VOICE! DID YOU DRUGGED ME TO SAY THOSE THINGS!" Cyril snapped

"No! Krieger had a voice modulator." Archer said

"Yep, i was going to reveal it for our spy agency but then the shrinking ray incident occurred. I completely forgot about it till Archer asked if he has something to change his voice."

"So it was your idea!" Cyril snapped

"Look Cyril it not that big a deal, we all agree the animated thing was going to be a side job, granted we moved past porn, but every studio need to shift genre from time to time." Archer shrugged.

"Oh like how you change from a highschool dropout spy that fed his butler spiders to a high school drop out detective with no butler to feed spiders." Cyril sneered.

"FIRST OF ALL I DID GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL, I HAVE THE DIPLOMA TO PROVE IT AND ONLY FLUNK COLLEGE! SECOND I NEVER FEED WOODHOUSE SPIDER!" Archer snapped

"You fed him webs! that comes from spiders." Cyril said

"Honey comes from bees and milk comes from cows." Archer said in annoyance "And we never categorized them as part of those animals!"

"He has a point." Ray said

"And going back to original topic, I think I did you a favor when we release that cartoon." Archer stated

"A favor? yours and the other 'Ol Pam Poovey; cartoon made me a bad guy!" Cyril snapped "People from the farmer market were LITERALLY throwing rotten vegetables at me!"

"Yeah but you got to throw the last punch which turn everything to white." Archer said

"Plus woman do like a good villain." Krieger said "Haven't you heard of the evil is sexy trope?"

"Then how come I'm ugly in that cartoon!" Cyril snapped

"Cyril, it just a cartoon, for pete sake the udder have faces on them." Mallory rolled her eyes.

"Screw you I've been slandered, you don't know what that like."

Everyone gave a deadpanned look. "... Alright so maybe some of you get it." everyone still gave a deadpanned look "ALRIGHT ALL OF YOU! But it still doesn't excuse what you did! You can't use my likeness without my permission!"

"Actually you did." Mallory said "Backn when our old agency wasn't something to either be mocked or use by a bunch of zealots, the fine print state that if you worked alongside me in any or future business endeavor, said party will be allowed to use the visage of another party for a business endeavor."

"Oh so that why scatterbrained jane and her cohorts weren't afraid when they release that movie about us!" Lana said (AN:Read red witch fanfic Spy Agency: A True Story to get that reference)

"Yeah, they use my own loophole against me, which wouldn't have happened if Pam gave them the damn privacy thing!" Mallory growled

"It was also Pam PSA that going to feed us till the shark director stop whining about what happen in that hotel, so leave me out of your anger rant." Pam said snidely

"No, cause i'm still piss-

"Jesus christ, somebody just give him his check already!" A unusually silent Cheryl finally spoke up. "It's bad enough Mrs Archer whine about her dead detective agency or not understanding why her parenting skill failed on Mr Archer, I refuse to listen to this stupidity from the new jerkwad boss!"

"Alright geeze!" Archer snapped as he pulled out a check while both Cyril and Mallory gave Cheryl the stink eye. "Here you go whinezilla, go nuts!"

"I will-" Cyril pause as he look at the amount written on the check more carefully. "Probably look the other way this once... afterall, this will cover both the agency and living expenses for awhile."

"Good boy." Ray stated as he slapped Cyril on the back. "And hey if it makes you feel better, we'll have you as the hero of the next possible PSA, were thinking of doing a fire safety theme." Everyone look at Cheryl flicking off and on her lighter, noticing everyone gaze she asked "What?"

"You have to admit, we probably have alot of advice for fire safety." Lana said, making Cyril sighed in annoyance.


End file.
